How to survive chem...for dummies ^.^

1. Make sure all homework is done 2 periods before chemistry lessons....(checking homework with yen yen, jia wei n Deb is advisible)
2. Read textbook before entering the class..(for safety, memorise facts that other people would normally ignore to avoid competition during quizes..)
3. Once you have reached the lab, make a long single line outside the lab so that the class monitor (savi) can count count all her 'anaks' n make sure none of them are lost or confused.
4. Students are advised to hold chemistry textbooks so that the aura n good karma can flow through your veins n into your brains...students can also hold/touch/raba yen yen to absorb extra karma n aura...you know...just in case =.=
5. HOWEVER, staring too long or too near at chemistry textbooks may cause brain damage or short term memory loss...
6. PRAY BEFORE ENTER!!!
7. When inside the lab, drop all books or anything in your hands on the table...then stand straight and stare at the class monitor...(this works as a signal for the monitor wish Miss W)
8. WAIT FOR PERMISSION BEFORE PLACING YOUR BACKSIDE ON THE CHAIR SURFACE.
9. Pray that shes's not thinking of you n that she dosen't remember any questions or quizes...
10. AVOID EYE CONTACT!!!
11. If you are asked a question and do not know the answer, you can either: a) pretend your thinking of the answer even if you don't know WHAT THE HELL is happening........b) smile at her [i would personally pick a)...b) is too risky, like lisha said: playing with fire a.k.a main dgn api]
12. When asked to do corrections in the book for 10x...smile sweetly n control all emotions...(have to be like kit kats...soft on the outside but hard on the inside..4U BOLEH)
13. However, when trying to get answers from ' THE GENIUSES'...try to be professional n not get caught...(whispering is good...coughing while asking is even better...turning 360' and asking the person behind you is testing her patience...NOT GOOD!!!)
14. If you happened to be caught...a simple sorry would do the trick...crying and kissing her feet is not advisible because it may cause bigger problems and you might be sent to the 'BIG BOSS'...really bad...may cause skin to melt and ears to drop off like jelly or tempoyak...yummy^.^
15. If asked to do an experiment make sure that she dosen't see what kind of apparatus you are using...(for safety, you should pretend your tying your shoelace and let other groups take the thingy-things first...then observe what they take n run to the stuff before everything finishes...)
16. While doing the experiment...groups should sit in a circle...some group members should contribute by distracting her from focusing on your experiments...[those who are given the duty of distracting can help by a) complaining about useless or wrong apparatus in front of her to another group member, b) pretending your sick in front of her n begging for her attention, c) falling flat on the floor in front of her or d) bending down on the lab table wid your backside sticking out so that you can cover the experiment...tall people are usually more effective]
17. If results end up wrong....pretend you got the right results and celebrate wid other group members and do the traditional hugging ceremony while one group member erases the actual results n hides all the evidence...
18. After doing the experiment...you should clean up all the apparatus properly n put them back...try to be gentle when handling glass apparatuses..[for example: today, aya, akia n me were cleaning up the the filter funnel n the glass rod...we were cucuk-ing the filter funnel wid the glass rod through the front...den suddenly we thought we should add a little more excitement to the filter funnel, so we started cucuk-ing it through the back...but we were gentle...hehe]
19. Wait for the bell to ring...(if its a Friday, stare at Yann lin n give her the signal to leave...)
20. After chem class....remember to pray n thank God for helping us survive another chem class...(a lot of praying is involved because only God can save us from chem)
    

Quote from Claudia: A girl is stronger than a guy because she carries two mountains, whereas a guy only carries two eggs and a bird....^.^ (sry claudia....your unsuci-ness terbocor)


=.=  VCD(a.k.a pornstar...oppps...i mean miss paling tersuci-est)  =.=